In the original Star Wars trilogy the Rebels are a rag tag group of freedom fighters trying their best to take down the Evil Galactic Empire. There’s never a sense when watching the films that they had any real military training to speak of, even though they had their own distinct set of weapons and spaceships. Which makes the Rebels we see in the Star Wars: Battlefront trailer all the more off-putting, mainly because they seem to be made up of a group of bros who spend their free-time playing Call of Duty. Phrases like “Safeties Off!”, “Come on, push up!”, and “Stormtroopers incoming!” feel a little too jingoistic for what are supposed to be freedom fighters. It's all a little too capital M, Merica.
3. Riding a Speeder Bike Through a Forest Still Looks Impossible
Hells Angels: Endor Chapter
As watching Return of the Jedi taught us, you can’t take a leisurely stroll through the forests of Endor unless it’s on an insanely fast vehicle that moves like the demon spawn of a rocket ship that had sex with a motorbike. Just trying to imagine what it would feel like to move through giant trees at a million kilometres per hour is enough to make you feel a little queasy. But as the Battlefront trailer shows us, much like in the movie, you won’t have time to think because you’ll probably end up as a giant tree-pancake. Also, what’s with that Rebel soldier looking back whilst racing through the forest on a Speeder Bike? Are you crazy Rebel dude! Eyes in front! Focus on trying to weave between the tiny gaps of those branches, whilst moving at an ungodly speed. Oops, too late. Anyone for pancakes?
"Okay so which one of you ordered the Imperial Pilot Pancake Special?"
4. The Empire Somehow Fit an AT-AT in a Dense Forest
"Remember, in case I forget, we parked next to the tree."
Remember the first time you caught a glimpse of a giant AT-AT (All-Terrain Armoured-Transport) walker in The Empire Strikes Back? And how a lumbering giant space tank with four legs kind of made sense in the wide open spaces of an ice planet? Well the Imperials, who bless them thought it was a good idea to give a giant tank legs instead of wheels or moving tracks, have decided to put an AT-AT in the midst of a dense forest. And this comes right after an unsuccessful test run on Hoth that saw them brought down by tow cables. How did they get it amongst the trees anyway? And you just know that whomever came up with the idea was dreading the inevitable holo-call to Darth Vader, telling him that the AT-AT had become stuck almost immediately after landing.
5. Darth Vader Doesn’t Like It When You Blow Up His AT-AT Walkers
Warning: Objects in Space Holophone are larger than they appear
A young Captain Needa speaks to a dark menacing figure on the Space Holophone 5000. “Hey Darth, it’s the funniest thing. The AT-AT we’re in? Well, it’s stuck between some giant trees! I know Darth, I know. We’re supposed to be chasing down those darn Rebel sol…” Boom! Crash! A different explosion sound! The AT-AT with Captain Needa inside has been blown to bits by a squadron of Y-Wings, a group of Rebel fighters that found the act of dropping bombs on a large stationary target pretty easy compared to other space bombings. Anyway, cut to Darth Vader. He’s upset. First, because deep down he knows that the AT-AT had no reason to be used in a dense forest, and second, because he has a soft spot for the giant hunk of metal. Who do the Rebels think they are blowing up his favourite go-to military vehicle? Darth Vader mutters to himself, “They’ll pay for this. Time to lightsaber some Rebel scum.”
"Is Darth Vader going to have to force choke a b***h?"
6. The Rebels have Gungan-Grade Plasma Shields
"Even though Jar Jar voted in Palpatine and caused this whole mess, I'm sure glad his people created these plasma bubbles."
The great thing about Star Wars: Battlefront is that everything about the game screams Original Trilogy. From the amazing use of sound, to the music, to the vehicles, weapons, and outfits. For Star Wars fans this is exactly the sort of game that should be getting made. Because let’s face it, the Prequel Trilogy is kind of terrible and the last thing anyone wants to see in Star Wars: Battlefront is an appearance by Jar Jar Binks. But, for those with a keen sense of Star Wars lore will know that the gangly Gungan was part of a race of underwater creatures that somehow perfected plasma bubble shield technology. What we’re saying is, you know that portable shield thing that the Rebel soldier uses in the Battlefront trailer to defend against the AT-ST? That’s Gungan!
7. Like Beggars Canyon Back Home
"Luke was right! Now if only Porkins was still alive to see this."
As Luke Skywalker told his fellow X-Wing pilots, flying down Death Star trenches was like being at Beggars Canyon back home. A statement that naturally got a lot of blank stares, because “back home” meant the twin-sunned backwater desert planet of Tatooine. A kind of galactic crap-hole. But in its defence, the perfect place to hide the son of Darth Vader. In one of those blink and you’ll miss it moments in the Battlefront trailer, we do get to see both an inside-the-cockpit and outside-the-cockpit view of an X-Wing chasing down a Tie Fighter in what suspiciously looks like a canyon. And when it comes to Star Wars there are only a handful of canyons worth talking about. Well, actually there’s really only the one. Beggars Canyon!
8. Don’t Cha Wish Ya Trailer Was Hoth Like Me
Going Tow to Toe with the big guy. Get it? #towcablehumour
It goes without saying that a Star Wars: Battlefront trailer without even a glimpse of Hoth couldn’t really call itself a trailer. In fact such an omission would result in a demotion of title. From the esteemed ‘trailer’ to the ever-boring, ‘clip’. Because no one in their right mind would ever get excited over a clip. “Hey dude, did you see that Star Wars: Battlefront clip? Wasn’t it a great clip?” Yuck. Thankfully, such an unappealing string of words have never been spoken by a real human. And to think, all it took was a one-second glimpse of powdered snow being flung into the air by blaster fire as the Rebels face off against an imminent Imperial strike on Hoth.
9. Boba Fett and Lando Carlrissian’s Alien Co-Pilot Both Have Jet Packs
Don't ask him to pronounce Fish and Chips.
When it comes to Star Wars characters with little to no dialogue that have become fan favourites, none are as omnipresent as Boba Fett. The New Zealand bounty hunter has been an iconic figure in the Star Wars universe for a number of decades, so it comes as no surprise that he's featured prominently in the Star Wars: Battlefront trailer. So when it cuts to what looks like Tatooine, it makes perfect sense that we get a glimpse of the famous bounty hunter. And with his iconic blaster pistol and jet pack, this version of Boba Fett just screams cool. Because there’s nothing cooler than a jet pack.
When it comes to Star Wars characters with little to no dialogue that have become fan favourites, none are remembered as less as Nien Numb. The Sullustan Smuggler who served as Lando Calrissian’s co-pilot during the second Death Star attack is anything but cool. So when the Battlefront trailer shows a fellow Sullustan using a jet pack to fight off Imperial Troops on Endor you can only really come to one conclusion. And that is, jet packs are no longer cool.
Way to ruin jet packs, Nien Nunb Nuts
10. The Millennium Falcon Loves Shooting Down Tie Fighters
"You're all clear kid! Now let's blow up this thing and go home. But not Leia's because hers doesn't exist anymore."
If there’s one thing that the Millennium Falcon likes doing more than having its Hyperdrive system break down at the worst possible times, it’s shooting down Tie Fighters. The Corellian-Class Freighter even has its own in-built co-op mode, where together with a friend you can leisurely shoot down Tie Fighters whilst having a chat over your headset. It’s no secret that Luke and Han bonded over a game of Shoot the Ties on Xbox Live, there’s even a scene of this in one of the early films. So when the Battlefront trailer gives us a glimpse of a squadron of Tie Fighters emerging from a hanger and flying out into what looks like an amazingly detailed planet, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the Millennium Falcon was already there, waiting. To shoot them down.
"I know right, noob doesn't even know how to fly a Tie Figther!"
Star Wars: Battlefront is set to be released on November 17, 2015 for PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and PC.
Kosta Andreadis remembers a time when in order to get the best out of a console game you had to blow gently into it and whisper sweet nothings like "please work, I’m up to World 8-3, for fudgcicles sake". Situated in Melbourne, Kosta is a freelancer who enjoys playing RPGs, strategy, adventure, and action games. Apart from investing well over 200 hours into The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim he’s also an electronic musician with an album recently released
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