I want to jazz it up to look super gay,

Attach a self portrait.

cover the cable in a string of empty beer bottles

and place a little LED in each bottle, mood lighting for the win

Hang rubber cocks from it?

I can't foresee anyone out-gaying this suggestion

chrissy lights

You guys would make the worst fags!
For now I've got one of those big black ribbed shafts, I don't think it would support much weight so the rubber cocks idea is out.I like the LED idea but it's probably expensive to do 'right', and the dangling cable is for powering two PCs and Four monitors off one power point, so more shit to connect up is probably no good.
You would think a big black shaft down my middle would look cool, but it does not.

this is how I read it

You would think a big black shaft up my bum would look cool, it feels nice but people are starting to stare.

You just had that last line wrong.

Yeah everyone here keeps saying tinsel, but tinsel is pretty yuck.

That's the point, you fag.

Hang rubber cocks from it? I can't foresee anyone out-gaying this suggestion

Hire a matching set of leather clad gay male prostitutes to hang from the wire with the top guy using his dick as a lasso and each guy in the chain hanging out of the other guys ass all the way down. Have Hello Dolly and The Birdcage playing on an endless loop on a massive projector on the wall behind them. Everyone in the office must wear strap on dildo helmets at all times and engage in fellatio before during and after each break period. Paint the front door to look like a giant arse and command all employees to squeal in mock excitement each time a man comes to the door. There are feather boas and framed pictures of Streisand on every desk. It's mandatory to give anyone who does anything remotely good two clicks straight up. Every Friday is Rub the Guy Next To You Balls Day. There is a live unicorn in the lunchroom.

What do I win?